How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Ep 15 Unpause

09.15 Unpause

In this episode, we finally find out what Barney's job is. (haha puh-lease)

Also, we see the birth of Ted's second child set in the Farhampton Inn 2017

Marshall attempts to postpone the big fight with Lily by feeding everybody drinks so that they wouldn't have to go back to their rooms.

Sunday

2:01am

16 hours before the wedding

Embarrassing souvenirs taken from Ted's childhood home

Barney gets Jabba drunk

Next level of drunkeness = truth serum drunk

Marshall has to "bang your wife for as long as you possibly can"

-Ted: What did you do to my mom? 

 Barney: I got thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double (what does that mean?)

-Robin: You walked into the bar wearing triple xray goggles

 Barney: Goggles didn't work

-Robin: Ring bear vs bearer

 Barney: bearer

-Barney: 6 and 3/64th inches

-Ted: Doves magic trick

 Barney: special dehydrated birds from China Town

-Marshall: Performance enhancement drugs?

 Barney: Here

-Ted: how much a year do you spend on suits

 Barney: one crapload. Also, Robin is massively wealthy. Worth 6 thousand craploads (Canadian craploads)

-Other answers: In one night, four. In one family, three. Yes, but not while she was secretary of state. Yes, but now while SHE was secretary of state. Just once, with a French male model (something about being lonely) only time to split a cab. Had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.

-Ted: What do you do for a living?

Barney: haha puh-lease

Ted: Tell us more about this job

Barney: Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything. P.L.E.A.S.E.

 It means just sign stuff and we'll pay you 16 craploads a year

He also tells them that that he was working with the Fed

Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall fight
Lily: You went behind my back and (something something). That is worse than anything I've ever done to you

Marshall: You broke up with me and moved to San Francisco

Ted asks if Barney is okay with marrying Robin the next day. He says he now feels healed.

Lily runs out and gets into someone's car

2017
Ted tells us that his kids' names are Penny and Luke