20 hours before the wedding
Previously, Marshall said that he could walk 5 miles to Farhampton Inn. This is where the episode begins, he walks with determination, music playing and narrative singing.
A car stops next to him and asks if he needs a ride "And that's how Marshall met your mother"
The group: The whole gang is here except there's one thing missing. "A bottle of $600 scotch"
"Also, where the hell is Marshall?"
Lily tells them not to choose sides. Barney says good because he chooses Marshall.
Ted distracts him by going to the bar.
Robin tells her it's only because Barney has a lot of public urination citations. (She looks proud of this)
"But don't worry, I'm on your side."
A guy sits down and Robin & Lily have a mental conversation. They talk about the guy hitting on them and wanting a threesome - Lily goes to a dark place. And the guys says thanks for having him in the wedding so perhaps he's one of Robin's cousins. But no, he has all his fingers and teeth.
Meanwhile, Marshall is thanking the mother for driving. And she's making very accurate guesses about his life which freaks him out. (Note that she's wearing driving gloves!) She locks the doors when Marshall tries to get out of the car. "No just kidding, I met your wife on the train. You must be Marshall." He's in the back hiding next to Marvin. "I was just checking on the baby"
Back to Robin and Lily and the guy. They're joking and laughing but they still don't know who the guy is. Strange how Ted and Barney still hasn't come back yet. Lily goes to the bar and tells Ted about the Farhampton liquor store and the lax security. Barney chimes in about how going to jail for a bro is "the dream." He and Ted have a whole talk about how many "the dream" Barney has so he can only pick one.
The mystery guy spills the beans about Robin hoping Marshall will get his way with the judgeship situation. And then he leaves.
Marshall thanks the mother for picking him up. She said she had to stop "for the cutest hitchhiker ever!" And Marshall thinks it's him but "oh you're talking about Marvin."
She mentions that she'll be going back to the city after dropping them off because of their devil-like lead singer, Darren. He'll go up to two friends and ruin their friendship. They're always left asking "how did we get here?" *He goes up to Ted and Barney*
Ted and Barney connects with him. "He'll tell a tragic backstory usually from an animated kids film" "It's often Bambi.....sometimes he'll throw a little Lion King in there." Then he'll get something friendship threatening.
The mother tells Marshall about her band "Super Freakonomics" because he mentions his lawyer band "The Funk, The Whole Funk, and Nothing but the Funk" She tells him she's leaving because she saw a "bass player wanted" ad online for her own band so she quit. Marshall tells her to take revenge which she did thanks to "Aldrin justice" *they high five*
"You should take his van and run my husband over"
She says that she can't handle confrontation "Yes you can!" "You make some good points"
Robin and Lily make up, Darren show up and ruin it again. And then he goes to Barney & Ted to spill the secret about Ted moving to Chicago.
"At least tell me you're not moving until next year or something"
"It's not until....Monday"
"It'll be easy to say good bye knowing how little I mean to you"
Robin tells Lily that she was never on Marshall's side, just didn't want to love her best friend.
She pulls out Marsh-pillow and holds the arms while Lily beats it up.
Ted apologizes to Barney. "I swear on my mother's--no I swear to God---no, I swear to Hef"
*Gassp* "Don't take that name in vain!"
Ted hands Barney a bottle of the missing scotch and tells Barney that he stole it for him
"$600 bottle, Ted that's grand larceny! You really could go to jail for this!"
"That's the dream!"
Barney: Lilly and Marshall will only be gone a year. We'll still see each other all the time. You, me, Robin...Oh..I'll miss you
Marshall arrive and he tells her that at the reception, he'll yell "The lead singer sucks skunk junk!'
Marvin's first words: Skunk Junk
"For the record...his first word was mommy"
The mother talks to Linus and gives him her speech to Darren. He says that "his mother was eaten by a barracuda" "Gaahhh that's Finding Nemo!! ..That's new"
She orders the Kennedy package
We see Lily still beating up Marsh-pillow and Marshall show up with Marvin in his arms. They pause and kiss and embrace.
Darren bumps into Ted while he's pouring the scotch. He gets punched in the face.
At the same time, the mother is talking about karma and how Darren's karma will never be coming to him. "I guess he'll never get that knockout punch"
She laughs at Darren and he quits the band "The best man just punched me for no good reason"
"Linus, whomever that best man is, I would like to buy him a bottle of your finest scotch"
And kids, that's the first drink your mother ever bought me.
Marshall tells Barney he got him a wedding gift. He demands Marshall hand it over now.
It's the fourth slap!!!
More of the mother means we are closer to the end. The wedding (according to the time given) will be Sunday at 6pm. Which means, we are getting that much closer to Ted meeting the mother and the series being over.
Grab your tissues boys and girls, it's going to be a bumpy ride!